this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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