i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
