i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
