matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just pee around me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
