I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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