Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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