actually, I'm a sock model
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize