Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
