Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
