i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
