one two three fourrrrnication!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
