i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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