summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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