Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
