can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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