Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize