Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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