HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize