hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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