Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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