ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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