Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
