hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
