Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The best revenge is premature balding
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
