that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
