are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
