How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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