blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
