Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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