The maid of honor just puked.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
