there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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