we're chasing vodka with high fives
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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