thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Two words: blizzard sex
We're too hungover to prance.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
