Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
