Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
