I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
