are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
