it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
