TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
