When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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