just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
