do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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