I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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