dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
