Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
