Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My vagina just clenched in fear
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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