I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
