Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
