she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
