dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
