I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Someone signed my nipple.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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