quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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