After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize