I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
