and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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