i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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