I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
