i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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