Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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